Cardio is like the weird uncle you avoid at holidays because it’s weird and makes you feel uncomfortable. I’d rather put a pin in my eye then do cardio. When I first started working out I was a cardio bunny, I would spend hours cycling, walking, elipticalling (I know that’s not a word). Like most girls, I was afraid of the weight rack, I was afraid of my muscles getting huge and hulking out of all of my clothing. I was so young and naïve then, the weight section of the gym is now where I feel most at home. As much as I hate doing steady state cardio, I still do it. Yes I do cardio, I don’t do it everyday but I work it in to my workout plans because I know I’ll be better for doing it. I don’t spend hours doing cardio, 10 -30 minutes is usually the max for me. I find that doing 10 min of steady state at the end of a workout is really beneficial for fat loss. I truthfully hate every minute of doing it but in order to improve your fitness you have to do the things that make you uncomfortable.
To be honest I find any and all forms of cardio awkward and weird, maybe it’s because I’m uncoordinated or maybe it’s because I have asthma and breathing is hard. Here are my top 10 reasons why cardio is awkward and weird:
- Running Hurts – Your lungs burn, your legs burn and if you have bigger boobs there is a legit fear of giving yourself a black eye.
- WTF is the Elliptical – I know the elliptical is better for your joints, but what exactly is it training you for? To be a gazelle? I need answers.
- The Stairmaster – The Stairmaster is the tallest machine in the gym, it’s like standing on a stage where literally everyone can so you sweating your ass off and trying not to die.
- Cycling – If you have ever attended a spin class you’ll understand the pain of sitting on those skinny, hard bike seats and not being able to walk properly for 24 hours. People start talking and things get weird.
- Doing Cardio with a Partner – You’re both weirdly out of breath and trying to hold a conversation.
- Rowing – Everything is cramping and when you stand you leave a huge booty sweat mark on the seat. Also if you have a big booty, it spills out awkwardly over the sides of the seat.
- Jumping Movements – Everything is jiggling and flopping and you can’t control it. Box jumping and falling on your face in front of everyone at the gym, enough said.
- Farting – I’m usually not one to talk about these things, but it happens to the best of us. It’s hard to hold one in when you’re running or jumping, sometimes it happens and catches you by surprise. Here’s to hoping no one heard it.
- Cardio Machines in General – You’re using a lot of energy and going nowhere, it’s actually kind of sad.
- The Finish – If it was an intense cardio session you probably just want to lay on the floor in a puddle of your own sweat but it’s usually frowned upon.